Saturday, May 9, 2009

More Questions than Answers

I've said it before, and I'm thinking it again: Wouldn't it be wonderful if we got some sort of a document from God that outlines where we'll be at each stage in our life? Like: At 28, merryheathre will question everything, but that's okay because then she'll figure it out when she least expects it. Or something. I know that God has a plan for my life, but I'd really like to make sure I haven't totally messed it up. And also, I'd like to know what's next.

I've been thinking about God's will a lot because I've decided that I shouldn't keep complaining about something without DOING something about it. So, I have the opportunity to get a weekend apartment near an active, young church and I really think I'd like to do it. At the same time, that will be, in effect, the first step to me moving away from the place I've called home for nearly four years, and people that I truly love at this church. I only planned to be here for four years, but my work is going pretty well, and I'm a little bit scared of the prospect of change. There's this little voice saying "What if you go somewhere else and hate it? What if this is as good as it gets?"

After church a woman told me that when she makes a decision between two options, she picks the one that she believes will bring her into a closer relationship with God, then trusts that God will prevent it from happening if she was wrong. I hope that this will be true for me.

1 comment:

  1. I totally understand the anxiety of being at a crossroads like this, so I don't mean this in an flippant way, but I'm really excited for you. Life is much more peaceful in the routines of what is familiar, but there is so much excitement in the prospect of what could be. Based on what I know about you and conversations we've had the past few years, I think this could be great for you. Maybe not easy, but great all the same. I like what that lady from your church said, so I'm praying for you that God will prompt you to take the road that leads you closer to Him.


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